Rule #23

Just dump her already. We get it - you're miserable, misunderstood, it's complicated. Only lying, dirty douchebags cheat on their girl instead of sacking up and doing the right thing. Pretty basic concept: Keep yo' dick in yo' pants if you've promised it to one chick. If not then be a manwhore, do the rest of us a favor and wear a condom.

Rule #22

Just because you happen to piss standing up, doesn’t mean you are excluded from the general practice and common decency of WASHING YOUR EFFING HANDS. If you are in-and-out of the mens room inside 30 seconds, we notice. And without a doubt, you are a nasty douchebag. In addition, the word "wash" implies there is "soap" present.

Rule #21

The word "dude" does not belong at the beginning of every semi-important or significant statement you make. Unless you are asking where you car is, do not start a sentence with, "Duuude"...douchebag.