Rule #32

Stop randomly sending pictures of your penis to our cellphones. We'll just end up showing all of our friends and having a laugh - then name it something like, "SuperTeeters" or "Mr. Itsybitsiwitz"...which will undoubtedly turn into a frequently used inside joke for the next several months. Besides, I'd rather not be schlong-shocked when standing in line at Trader Joes.

Rule #31

US currency is available in the form of twenty dollar bills. In spite of the fact that your "fat stack of cash" is an inch thick doesn't negate the dim reality that it's actually forty five singles.