Rule #17

Stella Artois is the Keystone of Belgium. You neither look awesome, nor more distinguished because you're drinking crappy beer in a cool glass.

Rule #14

Liking wine is perfectly acceptable - just don't be a pretentious f*ck about it. Describing the "nose", saying it "needs to develop", or swirling it incessantly before every sip makes you look like an arrogant douchebag. Buy it, drink it and shut the hell up already. We. Don't. Care.

Rule #7

Don't do Jager Bombs. Nothing screams douchebag louder than a grown man drinking a shot of the worlds worst liquor gift wrapped in a glass of the worlds worst chaser.