Rule #24

Men don't wear capris. If the hemline of your pants are short enough for me to see your socks, then you need one of the following: legwarmers, shorter legs, or pants with length proportionate to your inseam. I recommend the latter.

Rule #23

Just dump her already. We get it - you're miserable, misunderstood, it's complicated. Only lying, dirty douchebags cheat on their girl instead of sacking up and doing the right thing. Pretty basic concept: Keep yo' dick in yo' pants if you've promised it to one chick. If not then be a manwhore, do the rest of us a favor and wear a condom.

Rule #22

Just because you happen to piss standing up, doesn’t mean you are excluded from the general practice and common decency of WASHING YOUR EFFING HANDS. If you are in-and-out of the mens room inside 30 seconds, we notice. And without a doubt, you are a nasty douchebag. In addition, the word "wash" implies there is "soap" present.

Rule #21

The word "dude" does not belong at the beginning of every semi-important or significant statement you make. Unless you are asking where you car is, do not start a sentence with, "Duuude"...douchebag.

Rule #20

Porn is not an appropriate selection for a dinner and a movie date. Period.

Rule #19

Bed linens neither change, nor wash themselves. Don't be disgusting.

Don't let your chick turn you into you a douchebag.

Exhibit A: Castration by License Plate Frame
"LOGAN'S DADDY, JENN'S HUBBY"...poor bastard.

Rule #18

Half of your disposable income should not be going towards a car payment.

Rule #17

Stella Artois is the Keystone of Belgium. You neither look awesome, nor more distinguished because you're drinking crappy beer in a cool glass.

Rule #16

Text messaging is not an appropriate form of adult communication. Quit being a passive f*cktard and place an actual phone call. It's called a voice, and its meant for more than belching the alphabet. Stop it.