Rule #16

Text messaging is not an appropriate form of adult communication. Quit being a passive f*cktard and place an actual phone call. It's called a voice, and its meant for more than belching the alphabet. Stop it.

Instructions: Removing Stickers from Baseball Hats

Rule #15

Your rims should not be worth more than your vehicle. Hubcaps should not be spinning on an 1987 Chevy Nova. That being said, spinning hubcaps always look douchey, no matter what the make of the car.

Rule #14

Liking wine is perfectly acceptable - just don't be a pretentious f*ck about it. Describing the "nose", saying it "needs to develop", or swirling it incessantly before every sip makes you look like an arrogant douchebag. Buy it, drink it and shut the hell up already. We. Don't. Care.

Rule #13

Telling me how smart you are is the same as telling me how funny, nice, wealthy or good in bed you are. If you have to verbally sell me on it, then you're not.

Rule #12

Avoid trucker hats. You're a man, not Britney Spears. Stop channeling your inner Snooki and either fix your hair, or wear a suitable baseball hat. Polyester and plastic mesh is not a good look on anyone.

Rule #11

1984 called, they want their pierced ears back. All you're missing is a Wham T-shirt and some satin shorts.

Don't be these guys. Seriously.

Please God, don't let history repeat itself. Learn from these 80's douchebags.

1980's Video Dating Montage

Rule #10

Hey Corey Hart. There's nothing "stunning" about "stunnas". Unless you're in a club with walls made out of radioactive tanning bed bulbs, you don't need to wear sunglasses indoors, let alone in a dimly lit lounge.

Rule #9

If you have to Google your own tattoo to find out what it means, then you shouldn't be permanently marking it onto your body. For the record, regardless what the chinese symbol or sanskrit is supposed to say, it actually reads douchebag…loud and clear.